• Kenneth Drake

Building Your House

When Christian and Alexander met, it was as if the stars had aligned. Of course,

everyone else seemed to have an opinion. When Alexander placed the ring on

Christian’s finger and promised him forever, it was the happiest day of his life. Of

course, everyone else seemed to have a lot to say. And it didn’t end there. When the

beautiful couple decided to purchase their first home together in Manhattan, it seemed

everyone had an opinion even then. From furniture to layout, everyone it seemed had

some advice to give. “They all mean well,” the couple thought.

If you think about it, the journey of life is quite a lot like building a house. Ancient

Jewish mystics believed that unless the Lord builds the house, all the labor is in vain.

We live in such a concrete, three-dimensional world that it’s so easy to think of and to

envision things such as homes, cars, bank accounts and even lovers that we enjoy.

We can see these things. They’re concrete and tangible. But when we think of the

more abstract things - the other, even more meaningful things beyond - like love,

peace, self-acceptance, and even “God,” the concepts aren’t quite as easy to define,

are they? You can’t hold love. You can’t walk into a room and have a face to face

conversation with God. You can’t turn the television to a specific channel and say

that you’re watching self-acceptance. It isn’t always so easy to define the invisible

things, is it? And yet, these invisible things are the most important building blocks of


All your life, regardless of your journey, you’ve been building a house. Every day, in

fact, with each passing day, you’ve always been building the home of “You.” And,

though you may not have realized it, for far, far too long, you’ve allowed other people

to decorate your home. You’ve listened to their ideas. You’ve listened as they’ve

told you, “Not like that!” “That’s the wrong way to do it!” “Put this couch over

there.” Or, “He isn’t the one for you.” Somewhere along the way, you started to feel

uncomfortable even in your own skin - in your own home - and before long you didn’t

even recognize yourself any longer. Self love looks a lot like building a home and

decorating it on your very own terms. It looks a lot like discovering what you want,

what you enjoy, and what feels good to you. For a long, long time you’ve been

building in vain - building a life that doesn’t feel good. Self-acceptance begins the

moment you say to yourself, “This is my house!” Self-love looks a lot like arranging

and decorating your life any way that you damn well please, for no other reason than

because you can. Do you truly want to feel “God?” Then start by living a life that

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